Sloth

I've been going back to my unhealthy lifestyle and habits these few weeks - staying up after 12 midnight, waking up after 10am, eating tons of sinful foods and all these is starting to make me feel a little out of place, not sure if I approve myself being like this. 

Also, I've come to realise that I get a little freaked out when I open my scheduler and find out that I've pre-planned outings with friends more than twice a week. My mind will reflexively go "ok woah too many days spent outside of home, got to stop, any other plans with friends leave them for next week or something." It is not like I have anything major to complete or do now - most of the times I just wake up with nothing to do, sloth around at home using the laptop while I could be doing more useful things such as learning and trying out new recipes, learn how to sew properly or exercise. I know this is why I feel out of place - because I am being useless. And maybe it is me becoming more and more of an introvert. 

But instead of nurturing my self-discipline, I allow myself to succumb to procrastination daily. Then proceed to a few minutes of self-loathing sessions before I go to sleep. Ah, how healthy. 

Adding on to all these messy thoughts, I also realise I have form a huge liking of wearing pants or jeans. I used to hate them, avoid wearing them at all cost, unless I really have to. But now, they are the first pieces I go to when I open up my wardrobe. No more relying on skater skirts or shorts. Not sure if it is just a change in taste because I'm becoming older or what. 

Yesterday while I was on my way to meet Banabs, I looked at my sneakers and suddenly felt really happy that I am still at an age where wearing sneakers is completely fine on a daily basis, and promised myself to wear more of them until I can't. Cause I mean you can't wear sneakers to work once you have step into the working force right? Yeah. 

Waking up with nothing to do sometimes feel like a waste of time, but then I remind myself that I won't get to feel this way anymore very very soon. So I feel a little better being useless.

I really have to start communicating with my parents better. I feel like an unfilial child sigh. Patience, patience.

Oh, and my best friend just got his ass enlisted yesterday. He hasn't replied me on wsapp but I am sure he will be fine, he aces whatever he sets his mind to, anyway. 

So this is just an entry to remind myself to get my shit together and treasure all these carefree moments before I get drowned in theories and lecturers' speeches. It is about to pour the weather is so chilly, my perfect kind of weather. 

Lastly, this is a pointless entry filled with unorganised thoughts just to justify how good I am at wasting time when I could be working on my travels entries hahaha. 

Alright, enough.