Someone Like You

-looks down-

My recent blog posts aren't happy, this is bad. Gonna try to chin up and be a little bit more care less about everything so I will be happier. Ha ha ha easier said than done but whatever.

Anyway, things kinda changed for the better for my family and I am glad! However I still need to be careful but I really thank God/Guan Yin Ma for this. Sucks to know everything will end in 2014 though. Sigh but shouldn't keep thinking about that just have to take in everything that is happening now!

So a short summary of everything:

So many things have happened. Screwed people up and screwed myself up. Had serious insecurities and self-esteem issues at some point of time. Doubted all the friendships I forged this year. Learnt that we shouldn't rush things, especially when it comes to friendship. Made new friends, became distant to some, became closer to some. Learnt to care less. Became more cautious in who I trust. Am really stressed now thanks to all the major projects, reports, assignments and tests. Struggling to sustain and save a certain friendship. Struggling to keep up.

And after you came in and out, and then in to my life again, I know I am probably not ready to like someone else yet. Might have feelings for people, but will never be sure. However, I know for sure I did move on, but not completely. I kinda like how things are right now, where I can still talk to you, kid with you. Like old friends. It's really nice. But then my feelings screw themselves up sometimes and I feel like shit. But only for awhile. Overall, I still like how things are right now. I feel... comfortable. In a way.

But today... I had a feeling you didn't really mean what you asked. Like as if you asked just to see my reaction. I hope this isn't a test to see if I still want you back. I wouldn't be able to handle that. You still mean a lot to me and the last thing I need is to feel like shit again.

But whatever! Things are still fine so I am going to put it at the back of my mind. Having said that, July still suck. Birthday month some more... such a disappointment. I hope things get better. I hope I can become more confident and decisive. And definitely more responsible.

AND I need to work on my time management skills. Srsly.

K have a good night guys!