Pray for a better tomorrow

This is so hard to take in, to swallow, to accept and to digest.

I don't want that to happen, I thought we were happy. I thought you were happy. All these while. Seventeen years and more, but you didn't say a thing. Why? I will be there. We will all be there. Didn't you know?

I don't know what to feel. My mind is in a mess. I feel quite lost. I am afraid. I want to be strong. I need to be strong. For you, for Mom. But this is quite a huge blow to me. I.. don't know. I need time to digest this. I need to grow up. I need to be more mature and understanding about this whole thing.

I cannot be weak. Not now. Not ever. But I keep falling, deeper and deeper. I want to be saved. I need to be. This is new for me. I don't know how to react to this.

You don't deserve this. Mom doesn't deserve this. I don't deserve this. You must get well. I will be strong for you, for Mom. Please don't ever give up on us or yourself. Please. Else I will die. This is already killing me.

The only thing on my mind is Mom, you, finance, mom, you, finance.

Mom.

I am so sorry. I will change. Anything for you.

Mom.