Co-exist

Well, it has been quite awhile, isn't it. I have 2 draft entries waiting to be published - I'm left with uploading of the relevant pictures but I really cannot be arsed to do it right now hahaha. 

Finally motivated to do up this short entry largely due to the persuasion of some friends. It is only the 16th day of 2015 but it feels nothing like a new year. Probably because the largest transition in my life so far happened in September, so nothing else can quite match up to that point of time and emotions where I was embracing the biggest change... not that I was consumed with all kinds of feels but I guess those emotions are what that's left haha. 

It is close to 4 months being away from home now, I don't want to say much yet because I do not wish to jinx anything, and also because 4 months is too short a period to justify whatever I have to say. I wish I had the ability to feel and absorb my surroundings more than what I am currently capable of though, I am quite sick of having to constantly remind myself to enjoy the moment; I wish it happened naturally. 

Nevertheless, I am terribly grateful for everything and everyone. It honestly hasn't been the easiest journey, no thanks to my carelessness as well, but life is full of surprise and such a teaser. I'm grateful for the kindness of strangers and friends whom I'm starting to regard as family. It has been a long while since I've experienced such acts of goodwill. Most of all, I am forever grateful for my Mom. 

I still have about a week left before I go sit for my first paper in University. I hope it will snow soon. I hope things go my way. I hope I am able to manage my time properly. I hope I can stay true to myself, and I hope to always be genuine to the people whom I regard as friends. I hope I always have the energy to constantly ensure that I am stable in all ways. I hope I don't disappoint, and I hope I don't get disappointed. I hope to stop being so defensive so I can open up a little bit more. 

I hope to moderate my expectations of people, situations and myself. I hope to always be calm. 

So much hopes and yearnings - so much underlying meanings hahahaha. 

Oh well, may the odds be ever in my favour :-)