You watch all these strangers trying so hard to live their dreams, while you resigned to the fact that you will never be half as good even if you give it a shot. Lack of creativity, lack of resources, lack of skills, lack of capital support. Shortchanged. Add in a shot of fear and confusion.
Always thought you had it all planned out but when the time comes you realised, hey, all the could and should haves.
Have always read similar posts like this in the past but never fully understood the emotions behind these frustrated phrases. Now I do. Prided myself to be a realist but this time it hits much harder than I ever expected. What you love and wish to try vs. what you have to do to survive and support. I've succumbed to being mainstream. Succumbed to have my existence be duplicated.
But I think it is time I stop wallowing in all these "what ifs" because I will never know since I will never have the courage to try it out, what with age (albeit not very old) and commitments. Bite the bullet and do whatever as hobbies. Not being able to make your dreams into profession doesn't mean you have to stop doing them completely.
I wonder what life has in store for me. Everyday I discover; but everyday I get lost too.
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Some titles you assume naturally, some you demand and then seek for approval.
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